Taxdog's blog: Taxdog is on holiday for this summer, so his mistress is filling in for him:

10-Aug 'I'd rather have a bowl of credit crunch.'
Saturday the 9 August was the anniversary of "the credit crunch". More...

8-Aug Stamp duty holiday? Yes, lets give the topic a break
Nichola Ross Martin is bored with media speculation. "If you saw last night's Newsnight, you might appreciate what I mean..." More...

18-Jul The original Taxpayer’s Charter: Found alive!
Many of us have been wondering what happened to the original Taxpayer's Charter. More...

Previously on Taxdog's blog:

On the ex-PM shredding his expenses

I got a bit itchy when I heard that Tony "Teflon" Blair has accidentally shredded some of his expenses incurred when PM back in 2005, but it wasn't the mange. I thought he was going to be blaming his pet - I'm not adverse to chewing up cash books when I get the chance and mice, well, we all know what mice do to business records... But, no pets were blamed or involved. It was a silly human, and guess wot?. By complete coincidence, this unfortunate incident of the night means of course that he cannot, should he ever be so forced into it, reveal to the Sunday Times and other interested parties the full details of his expense claims whilst at No 10. These have been requested by under the Freedom of Information Act, on the basis, that MPs work for us. Well, "you" as in you lot with only two legs. No one every works for us mutts, more's the pity.

The ex-PM played no part in all this, which seems odd even for my tiny brain...maybe he will be blaming house mice after all? Presumably this is what will get him off the hook as far as FOI fines go... But, what will HM Revenue and Customs do about this very public offence of a failure to retain books and records? Will Teflon be subject to an investigation, a discovery assessment, will he be innocent until proven guilty...

Failure to keep proper records is regarded as careless by HMRC when it comes to penalties, but as tax penalties are also now influenced by taxpayer behaviour will it throw the book at him?

What might HMRC do if the expense records are destroyed? Well, if treated as any normal taxpayer, Teflon would be treated as being guilty from day one, and so some estimating may be needed to boot. Apart from an economics exercise, which would involve guesstimating the ex-PM's domestic details (courtesy of his wife's book?), the department could use its powers under s20 TMA 1970, to check out the odd hard drive, and then of course, a home visit perhaps? Or, are we saying that all the hard drives and data back-ups also got "shredded" too?

Home-visits

I was muttering into my blanket about these a bit last year; HM Revenue have decided that they need the same sort of powers as their mates at HM Customs. Obviously, most taxpayers are pretty similar to the armed criminal gangs that Customs meets in their activities, or, if not then of course most taxpayers are possibly moneylaundering to raise funds for their terrorist friends. Whatever, taxpayers are being bred badder than ever and HM Revenue needs MORE POWER, you see... Or, rather you don't. Pull the other one I say. Of course there is not one thing you or I can do about it, and HMRC can now barge into your home, if you happen to be based there too. Now I don't like to point this out, but how many of those who are involved in large tax fraud actually either work from home or tell the authorities their home addresses? Hmmm...so I am betting my biscuits that more power will breed more abuses of power. And the courts - they'll protect us, won't they? Who knows about that either, more drastic reforms to the tribunals system means that HMRC will be doing more self policing.

Non-dom dog tax

Am I the only one who has noticed that there are alot of foreign breeds heading home right now? I woke up to find that my mate Pogle the peek was revarnishing his junk, muttering something about a non-dom tax charge. It took a while to get it into his furry little head that the non-dom charge only applies if you have unremitted foreign income of more than £2,000 and you want claim the remittance basis. Since he is born and bred in the UK and lost touch will all relatives in the Peoples republic there is no danger of any foreign income. Then he was worried about his personal allowance. "Poge", I said, "Chill out mate, we're dogs, so we don't have to worry about tax."

Dog tax - A good way to finally wipe out hunting!

It didn't take me long to work this one out. My mate Rufus, the other tax hound has just published an article in Taxation magazine and he has done a survey of the new Treasury team and found none of them is a dog owner.

Shame on them! There are millions of homeless hounds out there, and ex-racing greyhounds (close relatives of mine, maybe, but maybe not, depending on how you look at me) are always looking for holidays homes when they retire. MPs are not short of homes, and bet they need guard dogs too. Anyway, I have solved the Chancellor's problems with CGT reform. He should introduce a dog tax instead. It is clear that statistically it will not hit too many Treasury officials, and if I use my furry logic and deceptively small brain, this means that less Labour voters have dogs than the other parties. It has the added bonus that it might also be a good way to finally wipe out hunting!

I like this idea, because I like hunting foxes - all the more for me. My mistress always says that I am half-dog, half-wit. I am not sure what a "wit" is. The bad side is that some of my mates are fox hounds. They are a nice breed, but they do play a bit rough and they're so noisy all the time. The main advantage for me is that a dog tax will deter my mistress from getting a replacement to replace dear old JT (that's her below). I want to be Top Dog round here, and that means an only dog.

Pre-Budget Report

Well, I can see that Mr Darling is as appreciative of small business as I am of doggie dentists, but then I realised it was "splitting" not "spitting" in connection with "income". What cunning plan will you humans make that applies to both limited companies and partnerships? Smells like a "settlement" without the spouse exemption? My main worry is that it might be inbred and no good at catching rabbits. You know the sort, eyes set too close together and all that, and then all the tax planners will just laugh. I would never do anything like that, dogs are not good at smiling (everyone runs when I show my nashers). If I were in business, I reckon I would start a private equity breeding business from Monaco. Bet we will pick up a lot of prizes along the way.

Thanks to Mr Darling's CGT measures we may even get a bit of a property panic as everyone tries to crystallise gains and save indexation. I am hoping to snaffle up some deluxe kennels on ebay. We are now all set to be short termers, with no minimum holding period for capital assets. I can't hold anything for longer than a couple of seconds, before I start drooling. Economic things just might be somewhat unpredictable from now on, more lurcher antics...great stuff. As I always say, just give me a field and a lamp and I'm soon running in circles...

Good news for somebody is that some form of simplification in respect of Income tax and National Insurance is being considered. I have been rummaging through lots of bins to find the document with the details in it, only 64 more files to open...

In passing, the Treasury have seen my posting below and are thinking about reviewing associated companies. More for me and Ruf' to chew over, I expect.

Silly season - Associated companies: Legislation that sneaks up behind you and takes a large lump out of your pants (and then sends you a bill)

One of my favourite tax rags ran a good story the other week; it is by a guy called Richard. His dog's called Rufus, if you are interested. I've never sniffed him, but he can't half type. He's also got a mate who is a fish, but, as they just go round and round an' make me dizzy trying to work out how they can use a pc without blowing it up first. I gave up chasing my tail on that months ago. Anyhow, Rufus' dad was pointing out, again, that the associated company rules are there to upset small business and they catch all the wrong people too. I know the feeling, I am always catching mixi rabbits - yuch, my mistress is always catching taxis - good trick.

Arctic Systems - Judgment Day

The law lords found in favour of Geoff Jones, the young scamp, and the Treasury threw all its toys out of its pram and said that it would change the law as a result! Not real toys of course, if they were real I would be up there chewing them up in a flash. It is so cool to live in the UK at the moment, dogs are great fans of fascist regimes and don't see the point of small business anyway. We do like tax credits, as then our owners get to work less and go walkies more. Judgment day has cleared up some of the mess of the settlement legislation, which is good in the long run, I suppose as you can't step in it anymore. As for me, well all this typing makes me a bit sleepy, so I'll sign off for a nap...

Debate of the week: Do you like Poodles?

Arctic Systems IV - "At appeal's end" (legislation that might bite if you are unlucky)

This is it pups, the blockbuster case of Jones v. Garnett has reached that House of Lords, and there is not a pirate in sight. I'm not too fond of pirates anyway, do you know how badly they treat their pets? But, what will it actually mean if HMRC win the case? Most couples by now should have changed their working practices if they have had the services of a good accountant, so in theory any change will only hit you if you have just sat and tried to ignore the problem by letting sleeping dogs lie. What of the other cases which may be hit if the settlement provisions bite in the random way that HMRC say that they might?

This is quite scary, it is like having legislation managed by me. You see I could ignore you and pretend and I am sleeping when you try and post a letter through my post box, and that will give you the idea that it is therefore safe to do so. When you least expect it I will sneak up and bite you, and then probably give chase too. Nice! You can't beat legislation written by lurchers.

"HMRC powers: Unannounced visits to your home"

I am only going to say a few words on this, try and visit my home unannounced and you will not get past the gate. I take my guard dogging very seriously, but some owners take it even more seriously and engage bigger nastier dogs behind their electronic gates. How do you get inside an electronic gate, with guard dogs without announcing who you are?

"Nothing quite beats howling at the moon"

I am on holiday this week, and as you know the moon is full and so it is pretty exhausting for me in the day. Only got a couple of things to say, then back to my basket for the rest of the day.

Managed to file my PAYE return (online using HMRC's software), this process took a day as I lost my payroll software for last year (too much fur in the back of the old pc wrecked it and then I mistook the payroll disk for a Frisbee and wrecked it..). I purchased some emergency software to re-run it and got the wrong year - drrrrr. By that time to damned irritated with my stupidity to work out how to change it back a year. Saved by nice people on HMRC's helpline helped my re-work my year-end figures manually as I got totally confused (yeah, I know, a taxdog should know better an' all).

Ordered some company tax software my mistress reviewed it and came to the conclusion that even a daft young hound with long claws could use it. I can't wait to chew up the box though.

Finally got my short tax return, better late than never. Now I can get my PAYE overpayment back. No sign of my SA surcharge which is interesting...

Flog read: 105,321 times (today)

Category: Blogging, the moon, Self Assessment, PAYE, artic and pirates of the caribbean.

To post a comment, mail the tax dog (and you will be taken to email). All postings are subject to any censorship that the mutt sees as necessary to a litigation free existence.

Comments: (13)

1st April Fido writes: Tax Dog, I really like your stripes. Are they real, are you real?

2nd April Tax Dog replies: Sure dude, we're all real in this virtual world.

27th April Rocket-dog writes: At least with lurcher legislation we all know where we stand, "Don't trust anyone" is my motto, but I've been bitten quite badly lately and a couple of poodles mugged me on the beach.

1st May Hanna writes: Right on Rocket-dog, don't ever trust poodles.

5th May Snowball writes: So do lurchers make up all the laws then?

5th May Rocket-dog writes: Duuurrrrr, what's a lurcher?

18th June Rex writes: I like Pirates though.

19th June Tiger writes: Yeah, they taste snaz!

13th July Lulu writes: I like poodles, I am one you know and i'm sorry to hear about your attack Rocket-dog, we don't normally do anything like unless provoked, or unless you are a postman in disguise.

6th September JT writes:

Can't teach an old dog new tricks as they know'em all anyway.

6th September Tax Dog: Err, what's that about?

6th September JT: Just though I'd put a paw in for us old timers that's all.

6th September Tax Dog: Sure, no age discrimiination on this site, dude.

10th Oct: GC what?